Early Mourning
by SarahxEmmett
Summary: What would've happened if Edward didn't save Bella after having Renesmee? What effects would it have on the family we know and love? Ends with a twist... one shot.


**Summary: Things don't go as planned for Edward in a very horrific way. Written to Early Mourning by Alesana. Hence the awesome title. (Oh, and the Cullens already know about half vampire children and how they age and then become immortal.) Story ends with a twist...**

"Bella!" I cried, pounding on her chest in a frantic yet rhythmic pulse. "Bella, please!"

I cried tearlessly, not giving up. Never giving up.

"It's over Edward, she didn't make it!" I heard a vile voice call from behind me.

"Fuck you, dog, get out! Just get out!" And he thought he loved her. He gave up on her.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that Bella," I sobbed, still trying to giver her a pulse. My steady hands were beginning to shake. "Please, Bella, please."

She didn't have to have a heart beat. I'd give her on until she no longer needed it, until we could live together forever.

"Please, Bella, please," I whispered in an unsteady voice. "Don't leave me. Renesmee, think of Renesmee... she's waiting for her mother, Bella, she's waiting for you."

I choked out the last word, her unbreathing chest getting harder and harder. And I couldn't even give her the breath she needed. I'd be giving her air, nothing more. I bent my head down, inhaling her sweet, fading scent. I let the venom pool in my mouth before biting down, letting it all seep in. I licked her fresh bite mark, sealing the wound.

She tasted so different. Her blood stagnant, no longer circulating, no matter how hard I tried. No matter how hard_ she_ tied.

She gave up her life to have this child, this monster I was responsible for giving her. She was cold. Dead. But I never gave up.

I watched the sky grow darker outside of the window. Twilight. The time that reminded me of Bella the most.

"See that, Bella?" I asked, not willing to face the fact that she really couldn't see it. "Twilight. It's our time."

I heard the door open, but I paid no attention to it.

"Edward, it's too late," I heard my father's voice call from behind me.

"No," I growled. "NO!"

"I'm so sorry Edward... I didn't... I couldn't see..." Alice sobbed, standing next to Carlisle. "I couldn't see... with the baby and Jacob, I just couldn't...."

"Edward," Carlisle pleaded. "It's too late."

I heard Emmett's thoughts approach, getting louder and louder. Everyone's sorrowful thoughts screamed in my head.

Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder, tugging me away from my love. My life.

"No!" I screamed. "Get off of me!"

I growled, snapping my teeth at Carlisle. Emmett grabbed my arm, helping tug me away.

"Give me a minute, please," I begged, not screaming anymore. My family backed away respectfully, giving my wife and I some privacy.

"Bella Cullen," I whispered. "Isabella Cullen. You're too selfless for your own good. Always so selfless...."

My throat burned, but not from thirst, from pent up tears. A single tear of venom rolled down my cheek, splashing my wife's beautiful face. I wiped it away with my thumb.

"You make me so human, Bella. You've always had than effect on me." I leaned down, placing my cold lips on her cold forehead. "We match."

I held her hand, my eyes boring into her beautiful face. I took her lifeless body in my arms, not wanting to leave her here. "I'll be with you soon, love," I promised her.

_Is he going to bury her in the back yard?_ I heard Emmett think.

"She's not a dog, you bastard," I snapped.

"Well, what are you going to do with her?" he asked aloud.

"She is going to get a proper funeral. I'm laying her in my bedroom until a... casket can be acquired."

"You're taking this well, Edward," Alice squeaked.

"Do you really fucking think that?" I asked in a monotone voice.

She didn't speak after that. I placed Bella in my room, closing my door. I wasn't sure how much more I would be able to bear.

I walked down stairs, hearing an unfamiliar heartbeat.

"_You_," I growled at the scared-looking, bronze haired child in the arms of Jacob Black.

"Don't touch her, Edward," Jacob growled at me. I focused on his thoughts until I found the reason he was being so protective over the thing he wanted dead hours ago.

He fucking imprinted on Bella's daughter.

"This is how you show your love and respect for Bella?" I seethed. "You abandon her when she is weak, and imprint on the thing that killed her... her daughter? You sure did fucking love her, alright."

"I did love her Edward..." he whispered.

"But you love that little murderer more," I finished for him. I glowered at the demonic creature. The disgusting beast that killed Bella. She looked up at me with Bella's eyes, blinking at me like my prey does before I devour it.

"Don't come any closer to her, Edward," he warned me.

"Trust me, mutt, I don't want to. I want nothing to do with it," I growled. "Actually, I'd like it dead, like I wanted it in the first place, like you wanted it. So unless you still want that, I suggest you take it as far away from me as possible."

"Edward!" Esme cried in a shocked voice. "That's your daughter! She is a part of Bella."

"No. She's my _fault_. I will never be a father to her."

"Edward, don't do this. She needs a daddy. Every little girl does," Alice pleaded softly.

"They need their mothers. But that didn't stop her from murdering hers," I spat.

"Maybe I'll take her out for a little, come back when Edward cools down," Jacob suggested.

I honestly didn't care what he did with it. I wouldn't be here when he returned, that was for sure. I'd come back for Bella's funeral, and then I would go to Italy and join her. She wouldn't be there to stop me this time.

As Jacob stood up to take the _child_, she reached out to me, staring at me with the eyes she stole from Bella... God, those eyes.

I left the house as fast as I could, getting farther and farther away by the second. Getting farther away from my misunderstanding family. The creature that I was responsible for. The mutt that sat in my house like he owned it, stinking up the place. My wife who I failed to save.

I failed her. I failed her in every way imaginable, multiple times, yet she still managed to love me. She gave me the only real love I ever knew. She gave me so much. She gave me everything.

I closed my eyes, letting my other senses take control. I imagined Bella running next to me, smiling at the fact that she was as fast as me, holding my hand.

I opened my eyes to face reality. She wasn't running next to me, and she never would.

Her death was all my fault in so many ways. If I had stayed away from her, she would be alive and human, forgetting all about me. If I had changed her into a vampire like she wanted me to, she would be alive, at least more than she is now. If I hadn't given in and made love to her, she would be with me. If I hadn't had let her convince me to keep the baby, she would be alive. If I hadn't made her marry me first....

As much as I wanted to go to the Volturi and get my life over with once and for all, I was going to wait. I had to wait for Bella, it was the least I could do for her.

The world seemed so cold without her. She was my warmth. Without her, the sky was darker, the trees were lifeless, the ground was soggier, the world was bland.

How had I lived without her in the first place? I thought back to my desolate life pre-Bella. How bleak it had been. Bella gave me the life I never would have thought was possible for me, a soul-less, century old vampire.

I wanted to join her so badly... I wanted to be with her, but I knew I never would be. No, my Bella would be in Heaven, gracing the angels with her presence, but I knew I was condemned for Hell. But even if we would be in different places, this life was not worth living anymore. My life has already been taken away, I was merely here physically. When Bella died, I died too.

My family would be disheartened, but they had a new member of the family to keep them busy. They lost Bella and I, but they have a little part of each of us to get them through it.

It sickened me to think of my family protecting and cooing over the thing that killed Bella, and for that, killed me.

It also sickened me to think that I am it's father. Her father....

I wondered about how our lives would have been if Bella had made it. Would her, Renesmee, and I be a happy family? But, of course, Jacob would be following our every footstep.

I'm glad Bella at least didn't find out about her daughter and Jacob. I doubted she would be happy. Everything she gave up to have Renesmee, the pain she went through, all to have her daughter taken away by an over-sized mutt.

I thought back to before I had stormed out of the house. How terrible I had been to Renesmee. My own daughter, a part of Bella. I heard her thoughts, she knew what was going on. She knew who I was and why I was so mad, she blamed herself. God, what have I done?

I shook those thoughts out of my head, I couldn't start to feel bad.

My throat started to burn again, but not from tears. I was thirsty and approaching a city.

I inhaled deeply, the fire searing throughout my entire body, the fire that I was going to extinguish the way I should, the way any other vampire would.

I didn't bother searching for thoughts, to see who was more innocent, I sprung at the nearest person who smelled the best.

I locked eyes with my unsuspecting prey, trying my best to block out his thoughts. I pounced, knocking him into the nearest alley-way, knocking him out cold, thankfully. I sunk my teeth into his soft neck, relishing in the silence of the attack. I hated hearing their thoughts, their screams inside my head.

I gorged myself on his blood, savoring the taste I've been craving for decades.

I wondered if my eyes had changed yet. They took so long to turn gold, I wondered if it would take that long to turn red. I closed my eyes, listening to the thoughts around me. _Perfect_.

I heard the thoughts of a suicidal man.

Well, not technically, but he sure was going to die.

It was a man with a gun in his hand, ready to blow the brains out of someone named Karen. I followed him in the shadows, waiting for the perfect timing. He passed by and alley and no one was watching. I knocked him back, much like my first prey, but this time he wasn't knocked out. He pointed the gun at me, and as much as I wanted him to shoot at me, to see what he was really up against, I didn't want to draw attention to myself, either.

So I settled on breaking his hand instead. I knocked the gun out of his hand, covering his mouth and nose with my other hand, muffling his bloodcurdling scream.

I lifted him up, snapping his neck, sick of his thoughts. Just as I was about to sink my teeth into his neck, me leg vibrated, telling me to answer my phone.

"Hello?" I asked, completely irritated.

"Uh, Edward? It's Jacob. Ness—Renesmee really wants you. She won't stop crying, which is unlike her, and the only thing she'll show us is you and Bella. Come on, Edward, she's your daughter, you can't do this."

I felt a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. A feeling that made me want to run to her as fast as I could,leaving my prey behind. A... paternal instinct.

"Alright," I told him, hanging up.

I ran as fast as I could, back to the last place I wanted to be, leaving my dead prey behind and forgotten.

Jumbled thoughts and mixed emotions ran hurriedly through my mind as I ran.

It felt like forever until I finally made it home. I burst through the doors, greeted with a distressed family and a crying daughter.

I ran over to her, picking her up instinctively. I heard the worried thoughts of my family, afraid that I was going to do something treacherous, but paid no mind to them. Renesmee was no longer crying, only sniffling, grabbing onto me with tiny hands.

She was thinking about Bella, not fully understanding where she was, why she wasn't with her. She placed a tiny hand on my cheek, and the thoughts intensified. I saw every emotion and thought like they were my own.

She thought about Bella, showing me what little she saw at her birth, and all the pictures my family must have shown her.

"I know," I choked out. "She was beautiful. Just like you."

My daughter snuggled up to my chest, her tears wetting my shirt.

"Is Momma coming back?" she whispered in the sweetest little voice I'd ever heard.

I didn't know what to tell her. I couldn't lie, but what could I possibly say that would make it easier on her? "No, baby, but she loved you so much, she always loved you, from the very beginning."

"Was it my fault?" she asked, her voice quivering. I held her closer, regret of being so cruel to her washing though me.

"No, never think that, we all tried our hardest, but... we couldn't...."

"I'm sorry, Daddy." I stared at her with awe. I didn't think one word could have such an impact on me, but it did. Hearing her say that mere word brought a little more sunshine into my bleak Bella-less world.

I knew I couldn't go to the Volturi. Renesmee needed a father, and Bella would want me here, taking care of our daughter.

The love radiating from her was bewildering, considering I was so horrible to her only hours ago. She, just like Bella, was amazing.

"No, Renesmee, I'm the one who should be sorry. You know I love you, right?"

"I love you, Daddy. I love Momma, too."

"I know you do, I love you both, too," I whispered.

I looked up for the first time since I stepped through the door, looking into the eyes of Jacob Black, who seemed like he was about to cry. Everyone else had spread out, pretending to do something else, nonchalantly spying on me.

"Thank you, Edward," Jacob said softly, staring at Renesmee with adoration written all over his face.

I smiled at him in response, quickly focusing my attention back on Renesmee. She yawned and stretched her arms out, only to snuggle back up to my chest.

Jacob reached forward to grab her, but she started crying when he tried to take her away. I hid my smile, not wanting to hurt his feelings, but I was beaming on the inside.

Jacob looked up at me, hurt in his eye. "Nessie, you don't want to come with me?" he asked her.

"Jacob, in a few years, she'll want nothing to do with her family. Please, just let me have this while I can."

Jacob nodded sadly, backing off. I was glad for his understanding, that was for sure.

I was going to take her to my room, so she could sleep, but I remembered Bella...

God, why did she have to be taken from me? My life, my everything, just taken away.

"Edward, we finished the cottage if you want to take her there," Esme told me, resting her hand on my shoulder.

"Oh, right," I said, remembering the cottage Alice and Esme were working on for us. The cottage Bella never got to see.

I carried Renesmee in my arms, walking her slowly to the cottage. My thoughts were a tangle of Bella and Renesmee, nothing else.

Renesmee was fast asleep when I got there, snoring slightly. I was hoping she would be a sleep-talker like Bella, but no. At least I could see her dreams though. They were of Bella and me.

I laid back on the bed that was intended for Bella and I, laying down under the covers, Renesmee on top of my chest.

All night I laid there, listening to her sweet dreams. I closed my eyes, willing her dreams to come true. I couldn't sleep, but this was as close as I could get.

Dawn was breaking outside the window, the sun slowly rising beneath the clouds. Renesmee was still fast asleep, in her dream land where she, Bella, and I were all together. I didn't want her to wake up just yet, facing the reality, I wanted her to sleep longer, getting to spend time with Bella.

She started to stir and her dreams got fuzzier, fading away.

"Momma," she said softly, squeezing her eyes shut. "Momma, come back."

She opened her eyes, looking around the unfamiliar room. Her tear-filled eyes rested on me, looking at me in question.

"It's okay, baby, don't cry," I told her, wiping her eyes with my thumb.

"No Momma?" she asked, questioning what she dreamed and what was real. She was only two days old.

"No Momma," I confirmed sadly, shaking my head. Her hair had grown a tiny bit, her voice more mature, and she was getting thinner much too quickly.

"Momma," she cried. I wanted to cry, too. I hated Bella being gone. I hated Renesmee not having her, never meeting her. Her dream-Bella was surprisingly accurate. Not just physically, but the way she acted and spoke. I never knew Renesmee paid so much attention when she was with her. I felt like Renesmee never got to know Bella, but she did. She knew Bella more than a lot of people who knew her. She loved her. She still does.

I lifted Renesmee up, getting ready to take her back to the house to eat.

Her thoughts were consumed with Bella. I couldn't believe what an ass I was to her, and how forgiving and sweet she is. I never even took into consideration how hard this must be on her. If, God forbid, Esme died, and Carlisle blamed me, said horrible things to me, I wouldn't forgive him so easily.

Instead of taking my time to take her back to the house, I ran, covering her face from the wind. I could tell by her thoughts she was hungry, and I hoped someone would have whipped something up for her.

I smelled human food before I reached the house, which I was thankful for. Renesmee smelled it, too, by the sound of her thoughts.

The second we entered the door, we were bombarded with questions, eggs, and blood.

"How'd you sleep last night, Nessie?" Jacob asked first, making his way towards us.

"You must be thirsty," Rosalie said, bringing out one of Bella's silver cups with a lid over it, holding some leftover blood. The blood smelled familiar.

I handed Renesmee to Jacob. She didn't even protest. Jacob's eyes lit up as he held my daughter in his arms.

"What the fuck, Rosalie?!" I asked, hopefully too quietly and quickly for Renesmee to catch. "That's just sick and fucking wrong if what I think is in there really is in there."

"Blood?" Rosalie asked, looking at me like I had lost my mind. "Even half vampires drink it..."

"_Whose _blood?" I growled.

"Um, a doner's?"

"What doner?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"I don't_ know_. Whoever donated it to Forks Hospital?"

"It's not...?" I asked, unable to speak her name aloud. It was too painful.

"Bella?" she asked curtly. "I'm a bitch, Edward, but not a sick, heartless bitch. This is one of her cups, and I'm guessing that's what you smell."

"Oh," I said quietly. I honestly couldn't smell anything but Bella. She took over my every sense.

"Edward," I heard Carlisle call from upstairs. "I'd like to speak with you."

I ran upstairs to meet Carlisle in his office, cringing as I passed my room. _I love you, Bella. Your daughter does, too,_ I thought as I passed.

"Yes?" I asked as I entered his office.

"I got a hold of a casket, and placed her in it. It's the very best in the area, I assure you, but I also moved her into the guest room. I figured you'd want your room to smell like Bella before...."

"Yes, thank you, Carlisle," I spoke quickly.

"Alice has put herself in charge of the funeral. It's in a week."

"Alright, Carlisle, anything else?" I asked, not wanting to have to face this, it was all just too much for me to bear.

"No, I don't think so."

I got up to leave, but Carlisle spoke up once more.

"Wait, Edward," he said, stopping me in my tracks. "You know I'm here for you, son. We all are."

I turned around, smiling weakly at him. "Thank you, Carlisle."

The next five days were all the same. I dry sobbed over my lost love, I spent time with Renesmee, I unwillingly let my family and Jacob spend time with Renesmee, and pretty much, I just wallowed in my sorrow and self-pity.

Multiple times my family tried to cheer me up, but the only person who brought me any joy at all, was Renesmee.

I was amazed at how bleak my life had become without my Bella. She was the center of my universe, and without her, I was thrown off track, thrust into a cold, dark oblivion.

"Momma!" Renesmee cried out in her sleep. "Momma!"

I hated hearing her pained cries, seeing her disheartening dreams. I pushed the hair away from her face. "It's okay, baby, it's okay. Daddy's here."

She calmed down at the sound of my voice. I started humming to her, Bach, Mozart, things like that, until it gradually formed into Bella's lullaby.

I stopped mid-note, unable to finish. That was a song I would never hum or play again. I couldn't.

"Momma," she started to cry again. I started humming again, making sure to stay away from pieces that might lead me to Bella's song.

Renesmee's eyes flew open and she started screaming bloody murder. "Momma! Momma!"

"Shh... shh... Renesmee, calm down, baby," I cooed softly to her, but she was still screaming.

She squirmed, struggling to get free of my grasp. I stood up, lifting her up to the direction she wanted to go. I saw Bella and the main house over and over again in her thoughts, so I took her there.

The moment we stepped through the door, she screamed and pointed upstairs. I walked up, complying with her screams.

"Momma!" she yelled. I looked up and saw the most beautiful, ethereal thing I'd ever laid eyes on.

Bella.

"B-Bella?" I asked, not believing my eyes. She was... dead. I saw it. _Carlisle _saw it. It had been six days.

She nodded slowly. Was she a ghost? I never believed in such things, but that would be the only way to explain it. She looked too... solid, though.

She walked down the stairs slowly, looking like she was about to cry.

"Edward?" she asked in a ringing voice.

"Bella?" I asked once more.

"Momma!" Renesmee cried, the only one sure of what she was seeing.

I heard the confused and some scared thoughts of my family behind me. Renesmee reached out to Bella, struggling to be held by her.

Bella made it to the bottom of the stairs, and I knew what I was looking at was real. I saw the glint of her soft but granite-hard skin. I saw the pure red of her eyes. I smelled the smell of a vampire, a vampire who smelled like Bella, but without the usual burn.

I reached out and touched her face. She was real alright.

Once she was close enough, Renesmee reached out, grabbing Bella's neck. Bella responded by wrapping her arms around her daughter. She closed her eyes, inhaling her sweet scent.

"Edward," she said once more, less unsure.

"Bella," I breathed. I leaned down, pressing my lips against her equally cold ones. Only, they didn't feel cold to me, but warm, my temperature, and soft.

I expected this to somehow be a dream, or snap out of this fantasy, but this was real.

"But... how?" I asked. It had been six days. That was impossible.

She cringed. "Painfully."

"Carlisle?" I turned around to see if he had any possible explanation.

"Well, the longest I've witnessed was four days, but anything is possible. And the change is rather similar to death...."

"Bella Cullen," I sighed her name, closing my eyes. My life, my warmth, was back.

"That's _Mrs._ Bella Cullen to you," she corrected with a laugh.

"Momma," Renesmee sighed, grasping onto Bella with dear life.

"I'm here, sweetie," Bella whispered, running her fingers along Renesmee's back.

"Don't leave Momma," Renesmee cried.

"I'm not leaving, I'm never leaving," Bella assured her.

Bella and I turned around to face our family. Esme was dry-sobbing, Alice was elated, Emmett looked shocked, Rosalie looked... well, indifferent, Carlisle looked happy and intrigued, Jasper was struggling with all the emotions around him, Jacob looked stunned, relieved, and jubilant, and Bella, Renesmee, and I looked like the family we were supposed to be.

I snaked my arm around her waist, holding onto her with dear life

"I love you, Edward Cullen," he mellifluous voice whispered to me.

"Forever and ever, Isabella Marie Cullen."

**Please review! Sorry if the ending was a little off, but I had to make it 4,500 words exactly. Including ANs! **


End file.
